Here's some great advice from Copyblogger: The 5 Things Every (Great) Marketing Story Needs.
The same thinking applies very well to your fundraising story:
- You need a hero. (Your donor, not you!)
- You need a goal. (Your donor wants to change the world, and is looking for the right way to do so.
- You need an obstacle. (Make it clear the problem that needs solving.)
- You need a mentor. (That's where you come in; you're the guide that makes it possible for the donor to change the world.
- You need a moral. (What's it all about? Don't assume everyone just knows.)
That's an outline for a winning fundraising appeal.