Future Fundraising Now

How to write headlines that will make people read everything you write

Here's what you need to know about writing good headlines, form the Constant Contact blog, at Headline Writing: Three Core Factors That Trigger Curiosity.

Every headline you write should answer one or more of these questions readers might have:

• Is this for me?
• Is it something I know or don't know?
• Would I get any benefit by reading this?

Answer those, and you're well on your way to involved readers who care about your superb copy. Clever, punny, self-involved headlines don't do that.

This applies not only to headlines, but also envelope teasers and email subject lines.

Are you writing bad fundraising copy?

Here's a scary post from Copyblogger: 7 Ways to Write Damn Bad Copy. I've seen all of these. Done quite a few myself:

1. Lyrical (excessively poetic)
2. Sentimental (falsely emotional -- but real emotion works)
3. Outlandish (packed with poorly supported superlative claims)
4. Humorous (you aren't as funny as you think, and unfunny humor is the deadest kind of dead any copy can be)
5. Short (short copy doesn't usually persuade)
6. Clever (nobody cares how smart you are)
7. Advertorial (ad dressed up to look like a piece of news)

The problem with most of these things is they call attention to the writer. I have very sad news for you: Nobody cares how clever, funny, passionate, or deep you are. Even your mother doesn't care. She's just acting like she does because she loves you.

In fundraising, more than most disciplines, good copy is about the reader and about what they can do. That's all. Save the look-at-me copy for ... well, there really isn't any good place for it. You can get away with it in poorly edited literary magazines.

One word that dramatically boosts fundraising results

One word can make a difference. When that word is the right pronoun.

An email test reported at MarketingExperiments (Email Optimization: A single word change results in a 90% lift in sign-ups) shows how:

In an email, a call-to-action button featured two different phrases:

Start your free trial vs. Start my free trial

Result: Start my free trial got a 90% lift in sign-ups over Start your free trial.

That's pretty easy money.

Direct mail practitioners have known this little secret for years. That's why reply coupons typically read like this: YES! I care about your cause. Enclosed is my gift of...

It works to put the action copy in the words of the donor. As if she is the one talking -- even though you're the one who wrote it.

If you aren't doing this, test it.

(By the way, one of the surest signs that someone is a fundraising neophyte is that they "fix" action copy so it's in the voice of the organization, not the donor. It's more logical that way, right? Too bad it doesn't work as well.)

The worst nonprofit newsletter headline ever written

I just saw the worst nonprofit newsletter headline ever written:

Partnering with the Southern Philippines

Unfortunately, this headline isn't the lone occupant of the "worst ever written" slot. It's tied for worst with about a zillion other nonprofit newsletter headlines.

Here's what's wrong with the headline -- and with the many others just like it:

• No news. It's not about something specific happening. The action here is a vague, ongoing process. Headlines that draw readers into their stories are packed with action -- news.
• No people. Millions of interesting human beings live in the Southern Philippines. The action people want to read about is done by and with them -- the children, mothers, priests, lumberjacks, or whoever -- not with the region.
  
• Weak, jargony verb. It's pretty cool that we can easily turn nouns into verbs in English. But not this one. "To partner" is one of those verbs that conceals and blandifies action. Headlines live on powerful, specific verbs.
• -ing verb. Even a strong verb loses a lot of its force when you put -ing on it. It turns it from an action into a process. Not interesting.

The purpose of nonprofit newsletters is to be read. If it isn't read, it's a waste of money. The purpose of headlines is to get people to read the material under them. Boring, no-news, abstract, unintelligible headlines don't do that.

The good-copy practice that makes your fundraising copy bad

How hard do you work to make your fundraising copy "flow"? In my experience, too hard. Flow is considered a hallmark of good writing in many quarters. It's that sense of smooth progression from one topic to the next, with easy, almost unnoticeable transitions.

As the Happy Donors blog notes, it's not really what you want in fundraising copy: The #1 Secret to Writing Fundraising Letters that Maximize Results. Flow is usually exactly what you don't want in fundraising. Here's why:

Readers will pick up the four page letter, look at their name in the salutation, flip over to the P.S., then shuffle the letter around in their hands, maybe start reading here, maybe start reading someplace else, jump around a bit, and then, after this ragged scanning, MAYBE start reading at the beginning.

If that's true (and it is), flowing copy is a pretty bad idea. It won't communicate as clearly as choppy, jumpy, repetitive copy.

Write your fundraising copy so readers can start anywhere and quickly get the point and an ask. Don't have paragraphs that make no sense without the paragraphs before them -- you can't be sure your reader will see them in the order you put them.

Don't waste your time on flow. It'll make your copy less effective.

Does your fundraising copy make you sound like an idiot?

The tone of your copy matters. Here's an email test, reported at MarketingExperiments, that looked at the power of tone: Email Copywriting: How a change in tone increased lead inquiry by 349%.

The test was in an email designed to generate leads for a software package -- a high-end purchase with a lot of moving parts and higher-than-normal resistance from customers. Think major donor capital campaign.

Here's the opening of the control email:

Dear [Name],

You're just one step away from getting FREE access to RegOnline, our award winning Event Registration and Management Software. Quickly man an event website, try our event marketing tools, build a registration form template or even generate custom name badges.

Pretty standard sales language. Nothing really wrong with it. It has that breezy, somewhat stilted approach that we're all so used to hearing when someone's trying to sell something.

Here's the opening of the test:

Hi [Firstname],

I noticed that you started the process of getting free access to RegOnline but weren't able to finish. Are you concerned about giving out your phone number? Are you worried about high pressure sales tactics or mandatory contracts?

Right from the top, it has a more colloquial, normal-human tone. It talks to the reader about things they care about and worry about. It doesn't pile on the sales points. In fact, the test had very few sales points. It sounds like a normal person talking to another person about their concerns.

Results: the test generated a 349% increase in lead inquiry rate. You don't see improvements that big every day.

Fundraisers are prone to slipping into sales jargon as much as sales people. And it costs us.

Here's how to write like a normal person: Read your stuff out loud. Imagine you're saying what you read to someone you know. If your copy is like that control copy above, the person you're imagining would be tempted to punch you and in the nose, or run away. Why are you talking like that? You sound like you're not a real person!

Keep revising until your copy sounds (and literal sound is important) like something you'd really say to a real person.

How to make your fundraising focus on your donor

by guest blogger Andrew Rogers

Author Alain de Botton (I recommend his The Art of Travel and The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work) puts a lot of time into being aphoristic on Twitter. My favorite tweet of his, from a couple of years back, is "Writing: A field where the consequences of mediocrity are considerably more serious than in banking or the law."

Here's one he tweeted recently:

Writing: if I've properly studied what's going on in me, there's a good chance it'll read as if it's about you.

— Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) January 8, 2013

Is it stretching a point to see an application for fundraisers here? We're always in danger of making our work about ourselves -- our cause, our organization, our process.

If we've "properly studied what's going on," though, we've placed the donor at the center of our organization and of our thinking. Then, there's a good chance that what we say will "read as if" -- and actually be -- about her.

Speaking to a donor that way isn't an artificial "technique." It's an honest and human interaction. It builds and strengthens relationships. To use de Botton's word, it's "proper."

How to make your fundraising focus on your donor

by guest blogger Andrew Rogers

Author Alain de Botton (I recommend his The Art of Travel and The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work) puts a lot of time into being aphoristic on Twitter. My favorite tweet of his, from a couple of years back, is "Writing: A field where the consequences of mediocrity are considerably more serious than in banking or the law."

Here's one he tweeted recently:

Writing: if I've properly studied what's going on in me, there's a good chance it'll read as if it's about you.

— Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) January 8, 2013

Is it stretching a point to see an application for fundraisers here? We're always in danger of making our work about ourselves -- our cause, our organization, our process.

If we've "properly studied what's going on," though, we've placed the donor at the center of our organization and of our thinking. Then, there's a good chance that what we say will "read as if" -- and actually be -- about her.

Speaking to a donor that way isn't an artificial "technique." It's an honest and human interaction. It builds and strengthens relationships. To use de Botton's word, it's "proper."

5 words that will improve your fundraising copy

Some things are simple. Here's a short list from Copyblogger of The 5 Most Persuasive Words in the English Language:

1. You
2. Free
3. Because
4. Instantly
5. New

You can use these words in fundraising. They work.

How to write fundraising copy everybody reads

You've heard that people don't read any more?

Does that mean you can just write sloppy old copy or let your board president have his way with your fundraising copy?

Not at all.

When people say "nobody reads copy," they're talking about the gray acres of carelessly written copy that dominates everyone's lives. That's what people try not to read.

People do read the copy they want to read.

And if you write your copy well, yours can be in the small category of things people do read.

That's the lesson at the Grizzard blog post, No one's going to read this anyway. It has these ways to make people read your copy:

• Get their attention.
• Keep your sentences short.
• Break rules.
• Use small, easy-to-understand words.
• Provide a strong call to action.

Most of all, write about your audience, not about yourself. Then they'll read every word.