Future Fundraising Now

Fundraising secrets from Elmore Leonard

I recently came across the late Elmore Leonard's Ten Rules of Writing.

Leonard was a novelist, most famously of crime fiction. But his rules apply surprisingly well to fundraising writing.

Here they are, along with my annotations for fundraisers:

1. Never open a book with weather. (Probably not a good idea for a fundraising appeal either. Unless it's about a hurricane.)
2. Avoid prologues. (Yes!)
3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue. (Yes!!)
4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said." (Yes!!!)
5. Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. (I think fundraisers are allowed a little more. Something like two or three per 500 words.)
6. Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose." (Probably.)
7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly. (Even more sparingly in fundraising. Dialect is hard to read.)
8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters. (They're real people in our case. But still, go easy.)
9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things. (So true for us.)
10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip. (Super advice; develop a sense of what readers tend to skip.)

Then he gives his most important rule, the one that sums up the 10: If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Follow these rules, and you'll do well!

How counting pronouns does (and doesn't) make your fundraising stronger

When someone asks me to look at their fundraising letter and tell them my opinion on its effectiveness, one of the first things I do is count pronouns:

• First I count all first-person pronouns (I and we in all their forms).
• Then I count all second-person pronouns (you it all its forms).
• If the first-person pronouns outnumber the second-person ones, I'm pretty sure we have an ineffective appeal.

This pronoun count doesn't take into account a lot of other things: Is there a strong call to action? Is the story relevant and well written? Is it really aimed at what the donor can do? Is it being sent to the right people at the right time? Those things matter a lot more than what pronouns are used.

I have a feeling that if you wrote an appeal and got the pronouns out of whack, but you did everything else right -- the appeal would do well. And I know for a fact that if you do a great job on the pronouns, but miss a lot of other things, and your appeal will not do well.

There's no real magic in the pronouns.

The pronoun count only reveals one thing, and it does so in an indirect way. A lot of I and not much you usually indicates a fundraiser who doesn't know fundraising is about donors, not the organization. They think you raise funds by telling donors how amazing your organization is.

Fundraising that starts with this fundamental error almost always has several problems:

• A weak call to action (like "support us") -- or none, other than vague hints.
• No story, or a story that has nothing to do with the donor.
• Lots of jargon that makes it hard for the non-specialist to understand.
• Does not connect with the donors' values.
• Doesn't put action in the donors' hands ("give us money so we can take action").
• Hard to read (high readability score, tiny type, difficult fonts).

So when you're looking at an appeal, go ahead and count the pronouns. And make sure there's more you than I.

But, more important, make sure you're also getting the other stuff right!

Good writing vs good fundraising

I almost washed out of fundraising many years ago because I was too good for it.

Well, that's how it felt at the time.

I was actually not good enough.

I was unaware.

Egocentric.

Inflexible.

I was a writer.

I had Good Style, as taught by English professors.

I was proud of my writing. My professors told me it was good. I worked hard to make it better.

But when I got a professional writing gig in fundraising, things fell apart for me. It seemed like the better my writing was, the worse it did at raising funds.

It took a while to figure it out: "Good Style" (as taught in universities) is not at all good for fundraising. Good Style is not a universal truth, but a specific and localized set of conventions.

That can be hard to believe -- and harder to embrace. Especially if you're someone who excels at standard Good Style.

Well, fellow devotees of Good Style, I have more bad news for you: this time from The Agitator, at Removing and Adding Words to Make Copy.

It's about The Copy Optimizer, which is a robot with a red pen that helps you write better fundraising copy. (I realize that's not literally what it is, but I like to imagine it that way.) The robot gives your English professors even more reasons to hate your fundraising copy. Here are just a few:

Optimizer says: All pronouns are good.
Good Style says: Arrgh! Avoid pronouns when possible. Especially 2nd person -- you!

Optimizer says: Use private verbs. (They reveal what the writer is thinking and feeling. Examples: felt, heard, believed, wanted, thought)
Good Style says: Not so much. Reveal inner motivation with outer action.

Optimizer says: Use possibility modals (these include can, may, should, etc.)
Good Style says: Avoid!

Optimizer says: Use emphatics. (Just, really, most, more, for sure)
Good Style says: Nnnnooooo! That's the worst thing ever!

Here's the point: Fundraising calls for its own version of Good Style that's different from what most of us have learned.

If you want to get the best possible results in fundraising, you need to use Good Fundraising Style. It's learnable (just like standard Good Style), and it works. We know it works because we've been watching the numbers and testing for decades.

If you're good at standard Good Style, congratulations! You can write some cool things.

But a really good writer is someone who uses the right style for the occasion. Not someone who applies "Good Style" no matter the context.

A frustrating truth about writing for smart fundraisers

The Internet is killing off the Cute Headline.

And I say good riddance!

Search engines don't understand puns. They don't appreciate wordplay, double-entendre, or irony. These things just confuse them, because they need literalness and clarity.

If you want people to find your article on Google, you'd better be clear and literal, especially the headline. Your wordplay will push you way down the result page.

Now let me tell you a secret: Almost all of your readers and donors are like Google: They don't care about wordplay. It just confuses them. Being literal tells them what they want to know.

Traditional headline writers really, really hate this. They're word people. And they'd rather display their cleverness than be clear. But the search engines penalize you for that.

That writerly need to display your wit isn't just confined to newspapers: You see it in nonprofit communications too. Writers will be writers. But if you care about making connections with donors -- and if you want the search engines to be able to find you -- you'll choose clear over clever.

I know it hurts. But writers need to deploy their brilliance on making their work more clear, more motivating, more vivid, more emotional, and more powerful.

Not more flashy.

Put yourself in your reader's shoes. Make everything you write clear, easy to understand, obvious.

That's how you'll reach them. I promise you, they'll be more impressed when you actually get them to read you and understand than they would have been by your verbal fireworks.

How to fix your worst writing mistakes

What's wrong with this (real, unfortunately) fundraising sentence?

We pray that this letter finds you and your loved ones safe and well as we all face the challenge of living in a changed world due to the pandemic.

Nothing at all wrong with the sentiments it expresses. And I could nitpick it a little, noting that at 30 words, it's long -- but if other sentences around it are shorter, that's not so bad. The editorial "we" it starts with isn't a great thing, but it's not a fatal flaw.

The real problem is that it's a spaghetti bowl. Confusing awkward, stilted.

No person with an uninjured brain would say this sentence. But many people might write it ... and have no idea how terrible it is. In fact, all writers, even the very best ones, do this regularly.

But the good ones catch it and it never goes out to readers.

How the pros do this: They read their writing out loud.

Read your stuff out loud, and you'll immediately catch garbage writing.

Which will improve fundraising results. Smooth, readable, human-sounding writing is not the sole ingredient for success, but it matters.

Make the read-aloud step part of your writing process every time!

Fundraiser: Don't "be yourself" -- be your donor

Every so often, I'll read a blog post titled something like "9 ways to write better fundraising."

I love pieces like that, because I'm fascinated by what people consider "short-list" critical elements for success. And as often as not, I learn something from those lists.

The thing that dismays me is how often one of those 9 ways to write better fundraising is something like Find your voice. Or Be Yourself.

Because "Be Yourself" is terrible advice for writing good fundraising.

Nobody gives a rip about your voice. Except maybe your mother and your creative writing mentor. And Mom is faking it.

Good fundraising is not a mirror that reflects your beliefs and excellence. It's a mirror that reflects your donors' values and excellence.

That's why Being Yourself when you write fundraising is such terrible advice.

When you try to Be Yourself, you'll always say the wrong things. Things you think are persuasive and inspiring. You'll miss the real reasons donors give.

You'll badger and lecture and belittle your donors. Not on purpose, but you'll come across that way because you're Being Yourself instead of what the donor needs.

Don't be you -- be the donor!

Or be the better angel of the donor's nature -- that smart, centered, moral, voice that whispers good advice in their ear to help them actualize their beliefs and values and be the person they want to be.

Sound like that. Forget being yourself.

(This post first appeared on June 8, 2016)

Not a step-by-step, guaranteed-success fundraising guide

Now and then, a reader of this blog comments something like this:

Just tell me how to write my fundraising!

They've noticed that most, maybe all, posts here are tips, approaches, hints, ideas, even philosophy. Not specific "how-to write fundraising" material.

It's an astute observation. But there are two reasons for the approach I take:

1. Telling you how to write fundraising is not the mission of this blog.

This blog hopes to equip you to write amazing fundraising.

Because your bespoke fundraising, created by you and fully in context with your organization, your donors, your community will be many times more amazing than my generic attempt at some kind of plug-and-play fundraising message.

You'll raise more money that way.

And you'll help spread the word about what really works when you know in your bones what really works -- not something you picked up online that you hope will do the job.

I want to change the world by equipping fundraisers to do great work. If you want to join me in doing that, your part is to get equipped and do the great work.

2. I don't trust templates, and neither should you.

I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could find a perfect template for some odd new writing challenge. Something to free me from the terror of the blinking cursor with a reassuring promise that "this will work."

Problem is, that promise of a template is iffy. At best.

Unless a template is targeted to your exact situation, there's an awfully good chance it will lead you astray.

The only times I'm willing to create a template for others to follow is when the situation is super-specific -- when I'm confident it's more likely guiding people toward success rather making an empty promise it can't fulfill.

If you want someone else to write effective fundraising for you, you can do that. It's a smart move for many. There are many people well equipped to do that. They want you to pay them, of course. But it can be very much worth what it costs.

(And what you'll notice about the good ones is that before they start writing, they'll ask you a lot of questions. That's how they make sure they're doing the right assignment.)

But even if you choose to outsource, you'll be better off if you understand fundraising from the inside.

The truth is, fundraising is hard. Even outsourcing it is no piece of cake.

There's no way around that.

Even if you've read every blog, studied every book, attended every conference, had great mentors, and done it for decades.

It's still a struggle. A journey.

I invite you to join the journey. That's what this blog is about.

15 things every fundraiser needs to know about writing powerful headlines

Headlines are some of the most important writing you'll ever do. Advertising legend David Ogilvy put it this way:

On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.

He said this in an age when one of the most important forms of advertising (and fundraising too) was on-page ads in newspapers and magazines. So he was very much talking about printed headlines at the top of an ad.

Which we don't do so much any more.

But we still use headlines constantly, though in slightly different ways:

• Email subject lines.
• Teasers on direct mail envelopes.
• Headlines in newsletters.

Any time we put large copy above smaller copy, that's a headline, and Ogilvy's 80¢ rule applies.

Things not to do in headlines

• Don't make them mere labels of what's below, like "President's Column" or "Health Update." Make your headline a sentence, meaning it has noun(s) and verb(s).
• Don't use newspaper-style "headlinese," which prefers fewer words over almost everything else, so it often has only implied verbs, and abbreviated ideas. Your headlines can be long in most situations!
• Don't use to be verbs (usually).
• Don't use passive voice.
• Don't use -ing verbs.

Things to do in headlines

• Use concrete, specific nouns.
• Use strong action verbs.
• Use the word you.
• Use your donor's name where possible (subject lines or digitally printed pieces).
• Emphasize relationships.
• Describe conflict, not static situations (conflict is not always between people, but often between people and their challenges).
• Use multiple headline elements where possible and appropriate (like subheads above or below the main headline).

For envelope teasers and email subject lines: Mystery is one of your best friends.

Finally, learn from the masters. The most reader-focused and powerful "headlines" are often found in these two places:

1. The Tabloids. They're still great. They live or die on impulse purchases, so they have to be good!
2. Clickbait. Same thing. The interesting thing about these is that techniques come and go as they work so well they start to be over-used and then they stop working.

How to write better by writing every day

Want to be a better writer?

Write!

It's really the one thing that guarantees you'll improve.

Most writing experts recommend that you write every day. That's the way you build your writing muscle so that whatever else you do, the act of writing is easier -- more fluent, less daunting.

Writing every day is a lot more difficult than it sounds.

That's why you should check out this post at Publication Coach: 15 tips I use to help myself write every day. Here are the tips:

1. Put your commitment to yourself in writing. Post your commitment where you can see it.
2. Set a goal so small you can't fail. Like to write for 10-14 minutes. Or just one paragraph. Progress is progress!
3. Stack your writing with another habit. Like your morning coffee.
4. Write in the morning (unless you are a night owl). But pick a special time for your daily writing.
5. Have a double reminder system. Set an alarm or have an email send automatically.
6. Have a quiet place for writing.
7. Allow yourself to write badly. Really, it's okay to write crap. You can fix it later.
8. Don't edit while writing.
9. Don't research while writing.
10. Allow time for EVERY step in the writing process. Thinking, research, planning, editing ... they're all necessary steps. Make sure you separate the steps and do all of them.
11. Track your progress. Find a satisfying way to keep track.
12. Don't count "free writing." Freewriting is a useful thing to do, and you should make it part of your practice. But it's different from the daily writing discipline.
13. Set up an accountability system for yourself. Create rewards and "punishments" for yourself.
14. Plan for what to do if you fail. You will miss a day. That is often what defeats the habit. Make sure you have a recovery plan for those times.
15. Commit to the process for at least six months. If you keep it going to that long, you likely will have a long-term habit.

13 tips for writing stronger fundraising

You'd like your fundraising to work really well.

That starts with writing it really well.

Here are some great tips on fundraising writing from Pamela Grow's blog, at No one sets out to write crap. A short lesson in nonprofit copywriting.

1. Know your audience
. They aren't you. Write for them. This is one of the most difficult tasks in fundraising.
2. Find your best story.
3. Get to the heart of it. Giving is an act of the heart. If you want people to give, embrace emotion.
4. Write music. When your writing sounds good, it's more readable and more persuasive. Read it aloud and revise it until it sounds good.
5. Infuse your letter with gratitude.
6. Put your donor in the picture. Tell her what she can do. Not what you've already done.
7. Ask. You really have to come right out and clearly ask them to donate!
8. How long should my letter be? Answer: Longer.
9. One writer. There is no group or committee in the known world that can write with clarity and passion.
10. Outline it. Know where you're going before you start writing.
11. Swipe. Get ideas and inspiration from others. (But don't plagiarize!)
12. KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid!
13. Write drunk. Edit sober. Well, probably not actually drunk. Maybe tipsy. It's okay if your first draft is a little sloppy -- as long as you edit it.