Future Fundraising Now

3 steps to avoid sounding completely fake

A lot of fundraising writing uses a tone you'd never use with people you know and care about. If you did, they'd slap your face. Or call 911, seeking immediate help for you.

Here's the kind of writing nonsense I mean:

• Phony superlatives, like "leading," "best," "most important."
  
• Meaningless, high-flown claims, like "cutting-edge" and "pioneering."
  
• Professional jargon that makes sense inside your office, but leaves donors wondering what's up.
  
• Abstractions like "hope," "community," and "justice." They sound noble, but they don't reveal anything specific.
  
• Organizational self-aggrandizement. Look-at-us copy that talks at donors, not to them.
  
• Unnaturally long and complex sentences that abandon all pretense of human speech.
  
• Lawyer-junk like © and ™.
  
• Legal disclaimers and other CYA weasel talk.
  

It all adds up to a tone of voice that nobody would ever use in person.

Your donors, like everyone else, is getting wary about inhuman marketing language. They know it more often than not signifies irrelevance and semi-truthful claims. They prefer authentic, human conversation ... and increasingly ignore the other stuff as the noise it is.

Your nonprofit organization is doing real things. There's no reason to sound phony when you talk about it. It's not like you're struggling to market one of 12 types of virtually identical detergents. Be real!

Here are three steps to keep your writing human:

1. Pretend you're talking to your mother (or someone else you know well). Fake-sounding writing will stand out a mile when you do that.
   
2. Read your copy out loud. If it doesn't sound at least somewhat like speech, send it back for revision.
   
3. Ban the committee writing process. That will always make your copy sound inhuman.
   

How to write for both of your fundraising audiences

How do you read your own fundraising letters?

You probably start at the beginning and read every word until you reach the end.

That's the way one reads when one is being paid to read, or when one is very interested in the contents.

That's not how most people read your fundraising letters. Sorry.

They skim. Glance. Bounce quickly through.

Are you creating messages that work for those readers, or are you writing for that tiny majority who read the way you do?

The smart way is to write Two Letters in One, says the Better Fundraising Blog.

Write a letter that works for both methodical readers and for skimmers.

But here's the weird thing: When you write the "skimmer" version, you've also written the "reader" version. Here's a guide to the skimmer version:

• The top-center or top-right corner of the letter contains a short blurb about the Need or about what the donor’s gift will do to help.
  
• The first three-ish paragraphs tend to summarize the whole letter. They share why the donor’s gift is needed, what the donor’s gift will accomplish, and ask the reader to send in a gift today.
  
• The middle section of the letter shares more details, perhaps shares a story that illustrates the need for the donor to take action.
  
• The last couple of paragraphs tend to repeat what was said in the first three paragraphs.
  

The only thing "wrong" with it for the e very-word readers is that it's repetitive. But that's not going to turn those readers away. Because even the most methodical of readers isn't paying attention to structure. The only people doing that are English teachers ... and you.

When you want to get your message across, write for skimmers.

That's the same as writing for everyone.

7 ways to connect better with your donors

Are you making it hard for your donors to take action?

You might be by making your fundraising less accessible.

The Community Centric Fundraising proposes some ways to improve accessibility at 7 tips to write content that is more accessible:

1. Write plainly, not like you’re sooo fancy. It's easy to slip into "look at me" language the demonstrates your knowledge and professionalism. It's Betty to keep things plain and simple.
   
2. Stack high-value information at the top. Whatever it is you want to say, say it early and say it often!
   
3. Subheadings and paragraph breaks are your friends, so use them. Write for skimmers! Give then plenty of entry points.
   
4. Try to baby-bear bullet points — not too much, not too little — go for just right. Bullet points are good entry points. But if they're boring points -- or too many -- they can do more harm than good.
   
5. When it comes to words, avoid relying on visual emphasis. Some emphasis is good. Too much is like having none at all.
   
6. Be structurally consistent to help people continually find their footing in your writing. People process consistent information more easily.
   
7. Put yourself in your very smart but under-informed reader’s shoes constantly. The hard part. It's tough to "un-know" what you know, but the more you can think like a non-expert, the better your results will be.
   

Never, never, never think simplifying your writing is a form of "dumbing it down." Your donors are smart. But they're not experts, they're paying a lot less attention, and they have many other things to do.

Make it easy, and they'll reward you for it.

The most important paragraph in your fundraising appeal

Yesterday, I showed you a great post from Clairification: Top 10 Fundraising Appeal Writing Tips. In the midst of that post, almost as an aside, was this challenge: Always, always, always include a P.S.; it’s copywriting malpractice not to do so.

It's malpractice all right. And it's very common. You might think there's no need for a P.S. If you think of something you should have said, you'll put it in your next draft, not tacked on in a P.S. Right?

Wrong.

Eye-tracking studies show that a large percentage of letter readers read the P.S. first.

And a good chunk of those read nothing else!

Leaving off a P.S. is the equivalent of sending a couple of sheets of blank paper. No message received!

And, under the assumption that it will be the only passage many donors read, you should include the call to action. Including, possibly:

• The urgency/deadline.
  
• A reminder of what's at stake.
  
• Specific instruction about giving.
  

It's a good practice to write the P.S. first. If you have it polished and clear, you are in a great position for writing the rest of the letter!

10 ways to make your direct mail stronger

Worried about your latest direct mail appeal?

That's okay. You may find some inspiration here from this post at Clairification: Top 10 Fundraising Appeal Writing Tips.

Here are the tips:

1. Begin with drama and get right to the point. Don't "warm up" the way we do in conversation.
   
2. Lead with easy to read, understandable copy and design. Ease of reading is one of the main things that gets and keeps reader engaged. Use readable and larger-than-you-think fonts. Black type against white. Short paragraphs. Wide margins. Plenty of underlining, bold, italic, and other things that break up the gray.
   
3. Use a conversational tone; understand donors are asking questions right off the bat. Don't lecture. Talk. Answer their questions.
   
4. Ask directly two to three times. One ask buried near the end of your letter is pretty much the same as not asking at all. My rule ask ask once or twice per page.
   
5. Avoid jargon like the plague. If you're not sure whether a word is jargon or not, it is. Get a reality check about your writing from non-experts. You'd be surprised how often one can unknowingly use insider or professional jargon, leaving donors out in the cold.
   
6. Talk about outcomes, not processes. Donors aren't giving to fund your processes. They give to make things happen. Your processes are important. But not to your donors.
   
7. Give a compelling reason to give today. If there's no reason to give right now, there's essentially no reason to give at all.
   
8. Flatter the donor; assume the best. Your donors care and are generous. They might not care in the right way, and they might not be as generous as they should be ... but you don't know that about them. Attribute the best and highest motives and virtues to your donors.
   
9. Make the donor feel the appeal is about them. Put some action in front of them -- something they can do to make the world a better place. In their personal story, they are not a minor bit player in the story of your organization. To them, you're the bit player in the adventure of their life.
   
10. Tell the donor specifically what it costs to accomplish what needs to be accomplished. Fundraising is always about problems and donor-sized solutions. Keep to that simple formula.
    

18 ways to connect your fundraising with your donors

The toughest thing about writing fundraising is your reader is not you.

They're very unlike you.

When you are the only reference point for your writing, there are dozens of ways you can get things wrong.

Here are some great ways to look outside your personal "bubble," from Forbes, at 18 Super Fast Ways To Ensure The Target Audience Will Understand Your Copy:

1. Show It To A Friend In The Audience. Your mom might be a good one to try. She may not understand fundraising -- so don't ask her if it's "good" -- but find out if she understands the message.
   
2. Bullet The Information And Look For Gaps. Make an outline of your copy. You can do this before you start or later in the process. See if anything is missing.
   
3. Have Someone Younger Than You Read It. For us in fundraising, it would be better to find someone older to read it.
   
4. Utilize Readability Tech And Tests. My favorite is the Hemingway Editor.
   
5. Read It Out Loud. You'll catch awkwardness and missing words that are easy to miss otherwise.
   
6. Assess Whether You Are Using Plain Language. Reality check: Are you using in-house jargon because that's the way everyone at your organization talks?
   
7. See If You’re Using The Words Customers Use. This might mean using corny and sentimental phrases that make you cringe!
   
8. Run It By One Other Person, Then Through Grammarly.
   
9. Make Sure Skimming It Provides The Key Takeaway. Run your eyes rapidly over the copy, only reading the stuff that stands out. Does it still get the message across?
   
10. Read A Sentence And Try To Explain It. Do this with key sentences. Read, then with your eyes closed, re-word it more simply. This re-write is often better than the original.
    
11. Count How Many Key Messages You’ve Included. The optimal number is one.
    
12. Take It To The Front Lines. If you have colleagues who talk to donors more often than you do, run it past them. They often have a good sense of what donors do and don't understand and respond to.
    
13. Read It First Thing In The Morning. Before coffee! If you've made things difficult, this reading will help you see what's off.
    
14. Phone A Friend. A non-expert. See how it goes over. You're not seeking their expert opinion on the quality of the fundraising, but simply: Do they get it?
    
15. Read It Out Loud To Your Kids. Kids demand clarity and simplicity!
    
16. Walk Away From It And Return With Fresh Eyes. Put some time between drafts. A whole day when you can.
    
17. Check For Clear Headlines And Skimmable Headers. Read just the headlines or subheads. It needs to still be coherent.
    
18. Look For Long Sentences That Can Be Split Up. Any sentence longer than 20 words is a candidate for splitting into two or more.
    

Bullet lists can drain the life from your fundraising -- or pump up the energy -- here's how

Bullet points are normally a helpful tool for making what you've written more readable.

When you have several similar points you need to make, a bulleted list can:

• Introduce visual variety, which increases readability.
  
• Turn what would have been a long paragraph into an easily scannable entry point.
  
• Organize your thinking, thus making it more clear.
  
• Lower the reading level of your copy.
  

All good.

But let me show you a type of bulleted list that hurts fundraising results: A list of program attributes.

In an appeal asking donors to support a poverty fighting program, it might list what beneficiaries will get:

• A quality education
  
• Basic medical care
  
• Nutritious food
  

Just a list of attributes. Important things, but boring.

Actually, worse than boring. It draws the eye, possibly away from something interesting, motivating, and about the donor ... and it delivers almost nothing to the reader.

Remember, people don't donate to fund programs. They give to make things happen.

So to make sure your bulleted lists speak to their motivations, you might take those attributes and make it a list of the problems they solve:

• Without a quality education, the children have little chance of improving their futures.
  
• Lacking basic medical care, far too many are dying from preventable diseases.
  
• Because they don't get enough nutritious food, they're suffering the devastating and long-term impact of malnutrition.
  

Or make it about the donor with a list of what they'll make possible when they give:

• You'll provide a quality education that will transform the kids' lives.
  
• You'll give them basic medical care that will keep them healthy and even saves their lives.
  
• You'll supply nutritious food that will fill their empty tummies today and keep them healthy and full of energy.
  

(Tip: If all -- or even some -- of your list items have the word you in them, you are more likely on the right track.)

Don't waste your time (and your readers' attention) with merely listing attributes. Make it interesting. Make it about the donor!

(This post first appeared on January 31, 2019.)

6 things you need to know about writing great fundraising

Writing fundraising is unlike other kinds of writing. Some of what makes fundraising work would absolutely make your writing teachers heads fly off.

Knowing the difference and breaking the habits instilled in us by other forms of writing is the key to success in fundraising.

Here are some of the startling differences from Hands-On Fundraising, at So you want to write to donors:

1. Kind beats clever. Being clever in your writing can be very satisfying. But it rarely works in fundraising. Your goal is for readers to internalize a need and feel empowered to do something about it. Not to crack a knowing smile or admire the writer. Always stay on the task of encouraging kindness. (Also, humor does not cross generational lines easily. What's clever to you is often opaque to donors.)
   
2. Simple is better than complex. Few donors are going to take the time to understand a complex ideas. Keep fundraising simple and crystal clear.
   
3. People respond to people, not statistics. The part of the brain the engages with statistic is a long way from the part that decides to give away money. If you engage one, the other is left out in the cold. That's why stories move people while statistics turn them away.
   
4. Your words are not as powerful as a great image. A picture is worth a thousand words. Probably more. That means when you have a photo that tells the story, use it. And when you have a photo that doesn't tell your story don't use it!
   
5. People skim. Or skip. Let them. Few of your readers start with the first word and then read everything in order, the way you and I do. Write for skimmers. Make lots of visual entry points by keeping paragraphs short, underlining the most important stuff. And be repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive.
   
6. Helping makes us feel good. It's easy to imagine that donors are annoyed by your appeals. We hear from annoyed donors. But the bigger and more important truth is that donors choose to be donors because it makes their lives better. Every time you go to them with an ask, you're giving them a chance to feel better and be better.
   

The top characteristic of an effective writer is the ability to adapt to the situation you're writing in. Fundraising is different, and knowing the difference is your key to success.

The secret, almost-magic way to get unstuck when you're writing

Do you sometimes get stuck while writing your fundraising materials?

If you said no, you're fooling yourself.

Everyone gets stuck.

There's no magic formula for getting unstuck, but there's something darn close to magic:

Get up and walk.

Check out this post at the Publication Coach Blog: Why you should walk more if you’re a writer.

There are a ton of reason walking is good for writing. Here's just a bit of it:

When we sit, our brains become leaden. But when we walk, our hearts pump faster and our brains and other organs get more blood and oxygen. Scientists have shown this helps our memories work better and improves our attention.

The gentle exercise of walking also leads to new connections between brain cells, holding at bay the usual decline of brain tissue that comes with age.

It's even better than I knew.

It works for me. It can work for you. The busy season is upon us. Take advantage of the power of walking!

The word that aims your fundraising message at your target

You probably wouldn't enjoy the task somebody at Delta Air Lines got a few weeks ago: Write a message to your long-suffering customers about why things are so messed up right now.

Feels like a lose-lose situation.

This article in Inc.com shows how some brilliant copywriter made it a win-win: Delta Air Lines Just Sent a Brilliant Email to Millions of Passengers. This 1 Word Mattered Most.

That word?

You.

The 740-word message included the word 44 times. That's 6% of the total word-count.

What's good about that? The article proposes two things:

1. It keeps the message on track, focused on the customer's perspective.
   
2. It offers a subtle, rhetorical reassurance to even the casual reader who only skims the message. This isn't about us. It's about you.
   

This is something you can do in your fundraising too.

I don't want to give you the idea that you is some kind of magic talisman that makes your fundraising work. In fact, the CopyOptimizer (the forthcoming online tool from DonorVoice that analyzes fundraising copy and compares it to proven winning copy) assigns no positive value to "you."

I think you is more of an "indicator species." If there's a lot of it, we're probably looking at quality fundraising; if there's not much, something is likely wrong with it.

Because fundraising that works is fundraising that enters the world of the donor, making it about what they can do to make the world a better place. It's about the donor's experience, values, and the impact they can have.

Not a recitation of the excellent qualities of the nonprofit seeking their donations.

It's possible to clearly aim your message at the donor without 6%+ you, but that's difficult. Why make things hard on yourself?