Future Fundraising Now

Fundraising with nouns and verbs

A standard piece of writing advice is Write with nouns and verbs, not adjectives and adverbs.

It's good advice for fundraising writing too.

It can be tempting to pile on the adjectives (modify nouns) and adverbs (modify verbs and usually end with -ly) because they seem to make your writing more vivid.

But that usually backfires.

Here's a great post on writing from ProActive Content -- Fundraising Copywriting Smackdown: Verbs vs Adjectives -- on the impact of scaling back your modifiers. Here's what happens when you do that:

• It Removes Unnecessary Excess. Those modifiers are less informative than you think. Their main impact is to bulk out your word-count, making sentences longer and harder to read. And a well-chosen verb can say it all.
• Verbs Focus the Imagery on the People. Modifiers tend to make your writing about what things are like, and fundraising needs to be about concrete things: People and their needs.
• The New Focus Sets Up the Fundraising Ask. You'll get your reader focused on nouns (people and things) and verbs (actions). And that's what fundraising is.

One of the most improving steps you can take for your fundraising is to go through and cross out adjectives and adverbs. You don't have to remove all of them, but the fewer you keep, the better!

5 things "good writers" avoid -- but fundraisers embrace

If you've had any high-level writing training, you've learned some pieces of wisdom that will make you a better writer.

If you want to do well in fundraising, you need to forget many of those same pieces of wisdom. Because they will make your fundraising weaker.

Here are some things "good" writers avoid ... but fundraising writers are okay with:

1. Telling. The common writing advice is Show, don't tell. For fundraising, it should be Show and tell. If you skip "telling" in fundraising, a lot of your readers won't grasp what you want them to know or do!
2. Repetition. In "good" writing, you usually avoid saying something more than once. In fundraising, we know that if you say something only once, a lot of readers won't know you've said it. In fundraising, the ask should appear many times.
3. Clichés. Don't lean on tired old ways of describing things. Invent new ways. Except in fundraising, where we aren't getting graded on originality. Clichés are clear and often have emotional punch precisely because they're familiar. Don't avoid them.
4. Exclamation marks. "Good" writers create excitement with words, so they rarely need exclamation marks. We fundraisers create excitement every which way we can. We are not afraid of a few exclamation marks. But don't over-use them; if every sentence has an exclamation mark, that's the same as having none at all.
5. Passive voice. The nearly universal condemnation of passive voice is silly, really. Good writing almost always has some passive sentences. In fundraising, we care a lot about sounding informal and colloquial, so we use a bit more passive than others. It's another thing to be careful not to over-do.

Want help with your fundraising writing project? Let's talk! It's easy: Click here to schedule a free 25 minute session with me. Bring your fundraising challenge or question and let's see if I can help.

What it takes to write good fundraising

What does it take to write good fundraising?

It takes pretty much the same things as any other kind of writing, plus a working knowledge of fundraising and donors.

That's why I like this "writing manifesto" from Articulate Marketing: How we work: our writing manifesto. It's not about fundraising, but it can help anyone be a better writer:

• You have no right to your readers' time. When you know this -- and believe it -- you are on the path to writing greatness. It's the amateurs who think people are sitting around waiting for their amazing words. Nobody is waiting for what you have to say, especially your fundraising messages. You have to earn their attention and time by being relevant.
• Readability is vital. Most writing that gets ignored gets the cold shoulder because it's hard to read. Whether that's because the design makes it difficult (small fonts, reverse type, puzzle-laden layouts, etc.) or the grade level is high, these barriers to readability really work to keep readers from reading.
• Be a reporter. Find out useful and interesting things to tell your donors. That's your job!
• See the world from your readers' perspective. Make it about the donor, not about your or your organization. And remember, they don't know the same things you know. It's your job to get onto their territory, not to insist they join yours.
• Writing happens. Make writing a priority. Whether you're doing it yourself or paying someone else, focus on it. Because when it doesn't connect with donors, it doesn't raise money!

Have a question about your fundraising writing project? Let's talk! It's easy: Click here to schedule a free 25 minute session with me. Bring your fundraising challenge or question and let's see if I can help.

Lots of donor-centric sentences for you to steal

What does "donor centric" mean in real life? Here's a great list of examples form the Better Fundraising Blog, at 11 donor-centric sentences you can use:

1. I'm writing you today with an important request. You are one of our most faithful donors, and I'm going to be very direct.
2. I'm so thankful to be able to write you about this. You can really make a difference in the lives of suffering people.
3. When you give, it's as if you're right there beside us, caring for people in the field.
4. You'll love how your gift is multiplied by volunteers and donated goods.
5. I couldn't wait to write you this letter.
6. Look at how much good you can do; you can...
7. Here's why your gift is so important.
8. [NAME], you've already been so generous, but I want you to know about the incredible need right now – and the opportunity for you to help.
9. I know you care for each [CATEGORY OF PERSON YOU WORK WITH].
10. Thank you for taking a moment out of your day to respond to this letter now.

I just took a quick look through my files for more donor-centric sentences. Here they are:

• Your gift to [ORGANIZATION] will express your values -- and make the best care available for yourself, your family, and your neighbors.
• [NAME], your kind giving makes all this possible. You are an important part of what makes our community a wonderful place to live!
• We depend on the kindness of dog lovers like you who are willing to stand up for innocent dogs who often have no one else to defend them against cruelty!
• [NAME], I know you are one of those special people who gets it about what [ART FORM] is and what it means to us.
  
• I hope you'll use the address labels I've included for you to show your support for this important cause. Every time you use them, you'll be reminded of how you're helping struggling families

Feel free to take and modify these for your own fundraising.

Do you want your donors to give or to donate?

When raising funds, should we ask people to "give" or to "donate"?

My answer: Both.

Here's why:

• Give is a warm, personal word. It's what we call it when we give something to someone close.
• Donate is what most donors call it when they give to charity.

So I tend to go back and forth between those two words: The one I want them to feel (give) and the one they most likely use to describe the action (donate).

Another synonym for the same thing is chip in. This is used a lot in political fundraising. So much that it's clearly been tested and proven strong. Try it in your fundraising. It might have some magic. (Or not: the audience for political fundraising is quite different from the audience for charitable giving.)

Here are two words I avoid:

1. Gift (used as a verb:" Please gift us whatever you can today)
2. Contribute

To my ear, these words are jargony and bureaucratic. They don't hold a candle to give or donate.

The challenge with word choice is that it's almost impossible to test it. Testing a letter with versions where only a single word is the difference is sure to return statically insignificant results. So unless you are mailing in the millions, you have to rely on instinct and other people's experience.

This particular word is an especially important one in fundraising, so give it a little extra though when you write your message.

6 ways to make sure you're talking to donors in their own language

One common way fundraising messages fail to connect with donors (and thus fail to raise much money) is they don't use the language donors use. These messages require the donors to "translate" what we say. And guess: Few of them will bother to do so.

Here's a post from the Bloomerang Blog, Are You Speaking The Same Language As Your Donors? that will help you use donor language:

1. Read Your Stuff Out Loud. Often, your ear catches unnatural and awkward language that your eye misses. This is great step to include in any writing process.
2. Use A Readability Tool. Keep your reading ease level at 7th grade or lower. My go-to is the wonderful (and free) Hemingway Editor.
3. Question Every Word. Especially the ones you really like.
4. Ignore Your Boss. Easier said than done, but unless you've got a truly unusual boss, pleasing her is sure to produce weak fundraising!
5. Picture Someone Real. Would you say this to your own mother?
6. Pick Up The Phone Or Meet Face-To-Face. You'd be amazed what you can learn from talking to donors. They don't know about fundraising, but listen to how they talk about your organization and your work.

Medieval monks teach us a thing or two about fundraising

How much has fundraising changed over the last few years?

How about the last few centuries?

Here's a great post at Queer Ideas that shows us A medieval "course" in writing an appeal.

Some Cistercian monks in Austria around 1350 had to raise money from royal and noble patrons, and they recorded what it took to write an effective fundraising letter. Here's their outline:

• Salutation. Give greetings and praise. Make tactful recognition of the reader's rank and virtues.
• Exordium. An introduction where you lead in to the subject of the letter.
• Narration. Where you set the stage with a description of the problem you are attempting to resolve.
• Petition. Now you detail what you want the reader to do.
• Conclusion. Bring the letter to a graceful end with a form of "perotation" to describe the impact of the gift in a way that will inspire passion and enthusiasm.

Not bad.

You could use this outline in your own fundraising today and do pretty well. The only real change I'd consider would be to have the "petition" happen earlier and often. Because paper is a lot less expensive than vellum!

Fundraising rules for National Grammar Day

Today, March 4th, is the only date that's also a command: March forth!

That's why today is National Grammar Day. I don't follow the logic either. But I'll take any chance to get nerdy about words!

So here are some grammar (and usage) rules for fundraisers:

• Fundraising paragraphs don't need to start with a topic sentence. And each paragraph doesn't have to contain one complete idea. In fundraising, the paragraph isn't a unit of information. It's a visual structure. Try one-sentence paragraphs. One word paragraphs.
• Sentence fragments? No problem in fundraising. Fragments add energy to copy and improve reading ease. And on a related note: feel free to start sentences with conjunctions. They help propel the reader forward.
• In fundraising, contractions are a must. If you do not use them, you will sound like a robot.
• Semicolons, the lawyer's favorite punctuation mark, rarely belong in fundraising. They're formal and legalistic. Hardly anyone knows how to use them correctly, so they confuse many readers. If you know how to use semicolons, congratulations; just don't use them in fundraising.
• Have you been slapped around for using passive voice? Passive voice can be used in fundraising. It's a natural way to talk, and good writing typically contains some passive sentences. Just don't use it too much.
• Avoid puns and wordplay in your fundraising. They're much loved by writers, but most people don't get them, don't care, and find them confusing or annoying.
• Use clichés in fundraising. There's a reason clichés catch on. They express things people often want to express—in short (and sweet) ways that are easy (as pie) to remember.
• In fundraising, please don't follow those fake rules some English teachers spread around like Don't end sentences with prepositions, Avoid split infinitives, and Never use exclamation marks outside of direct quotes.
• In fundraising, use the word you a lot! Really a lot!

Bullet lists can drain the life from your fundraising -- or pump up the energy -- here's how

Bullet points are normally a helpful tool for making what you've written more readable.

When you have several similar points you need to make, a bulleted list can:

• Introduce visual variety, which increases readability.
• Turn what would have been a long paragraph into an easily scannable entry point.
• Organize your thinking, thus making it more clear.
• Lower the reading level of your copy.

All good.

But let me show you a type of bulleted list that hurts fundraising results: A list of program attributes.

In an appeal asking donors to support a poverty fighting program, it might list what beneficiaries will get:

• A quality education
• Basic medical care
• Nutritious food

Just a list of attributes. Important things, but boring.

Actually, worse than boring. It draws the eye, possibly away from something interesting, motivating, and about the donor ... and it delivers almost nothing to the reader.

Remember, people don't donate to fund programs. They give to make things happen.

So to make sure your bulleted lists speak to their motivations, you might take those attributes and make it a list of the problems they solve:

• Without a quality education, the children have little chance of improving their futures.
• Lacking basic medical care, far too many are dying from preventable diseases.
• Because they don't get enough nutritious food, they're suffering the devastating and long-term impact of malnutrition.

Or make it about the donor with a list of what they'll make possible when they give:

• You'll provide a quality education that will transform the kids' lives.
• You'll give them basic medical care that will keep them healthy and even saves their lives.
• You'll supply nutritious food that will fill their empty tummies today and keep them healthy and full of energy.

(Tip: If all -- or even some -- of your list items have the word you in them, you are more likely on the right track.)

Don't waste your time (and your readers' attention) with merely listing attributes. Make it interesting. Make it about the donor!

How to write powerful fundraising first lines -- lessons from the giants

I just read an interesting book: Nabokov's Favorite Word Is Mauve by Ben Blatt. It's a writerly romp through the details about great literature. If you're a word-nerd, you'll really enjoy it.

One chapter especially got me thinking about fundraising messages. It's about the opening sentences of great novels -- those memorable and often arresting beginnings that propel you through hundreds of pages of words.

You know, like "Call me Ishmael." Which opens Moby Dick by Herman Melville.

We often work hard to start direct mail or email message with a strong opening. So I wondered what I could learn from great opening lines in fiction.

Nabokov's Favorite Word Is Mauve lists a lot of "best" opening lines, based on compiled lists by literary critics and others. I'm showing some of them here, because they can teach us something about opening lines in fundraising. (They're also great moments in literature, and kind of fun to read!)

Openings that establish a situation

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want a wife.

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

There was a boy called Eustace Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, CS Lewis

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, but that ain't no matter.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

All this happened, more or less.

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut

This can be a good way to open a fundraising message: Tell the reader exactly what's going on. Something like this...

I'm writing to you today because a devastating landslide has buried part of the area where we work. Many families we know and love have lost their homes and livelihoods. Will you please rush an urgent donation to help them?

Or like this:

It was a tough winter here in New England, and our garden was badly damaged by snow and wind.

Here's another approach great novels often take:

Openings that start in the middle of the action.

In literature, this is called in media res, Latin for "into the middle of things." You just plunge right into your story, and get to explaining the background later.

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.

Ulysses, James Joyce

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

1984, George Orwell

A screaming comes across the sky.

Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon

It's a great way to start a book. And most great movies start this way.

But for fundraising messages, you have to be careful. Book-readers and moviegoers are consciously choosing to enter the world of the story. Not so with your fundraising audience. Almost always, you're popping into their world, interrupting whatever they're doing and thinking about. They are not agreeing to enter your story.

If your story is powerful enough, you might draw them in. And that's how this approach can be great in fundraising.

But it's a tall order!

Use this "start in the middle" approach rarely, and only when your story is truly unusual.

I should point out that opening lines in fundraising are less important than they are in literature. Because our readers don't sit down with the intention of reading the whole thing, the way you do when you read a novel.

Our readers skim. There's a good chance that your great opening line is hardly read at all. We know from research that the P.S. in a letter is the most-read part.

So work hard on making your opening strong.

But work harder on a call to action that's compelling, easy, and well targeted to your donors!